Sunday, March 16, 2008
You know I've always been humbled by those who choose to live life in other peoples shoes. Mother Teresa lived with the poor in India, St. Francis living in peace with poverty and pigeons, and now me, living in a socioeconomic class that has yet to be identified.
In case you haven't turned on the news as of late, or listened to Chicago's own Roe Conn, you might not know about a certain couple whom, how shall i say this, have been living life in a very, different, way. For two years a lady outside of Wichita, Kansas whose last name is Babcock (hehe) had been living her life in the bathroom on a toilet seat. Finally after she began having "breathing problems" her boyfriend Kory decided it was time to call for help, let me emphasize, 2 years! Did it not seem odd to this guy that she literally had not left the bathroom for 730 days?
Let me put it this even more succinctly, she sat on that toilet seat so long that the seat and her ass fussed together. Her ass was the toilet seat and the toilet seat was her ass.
"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," County sheriff Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."
So do I Sheriff Whipple, which is why I'm not leaving my bathroom for the next 730 days. I want a first hand seat to watch as my ass fuses with a piece of plastic. I also think it would be interesting to have marital relations on the toilet because apparently that dude Kory said that life was normal when Babcock was on the john, so much so that they ate and had relations together while her ass was turning into a toilet seat.
Nothing sums it up better than Babcock's neighbor James, "I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said. That's right James this is pretty f-up, but I do hope that some pictures turn up of that toiletass or maybe I'll just wait for my own ass to turn into a toilet seat and snap a few. Laters