Monday, June 30, 2008

Failure: Toilet Ass

For those that might be wondering, the toilet ass experiment ended up being a major disappointment. I can't go into the details for fear of getting kicked off blogger however life is a hell of a lot more complicated when viewed sitting down on a toilet. Anyways, without procrastinating any further let me get you up to speed with the goings on in the world of Josh.

End of the year Greek Olympics: Chariot Race
Apparently no one else got the memo about the Togas

Another school year came to an end. It was actually hard to see those kids go, being that I had been apart of their education since they were in second grade. However my sorrows were soon alleviated with the thought of not having to get up for work for three months.

The start of summer went off with a bang as Roger and I successfully smoked our 1st Beef Brisket and played numerous rounds of Cornhole as well as some golf. Unfortunately I think I should have stayed on the toilet for then I wouldn't' have stumbled upon something while doing a minor home repair.

Turns out the idiots who put the roof on with the previous owners forgot a little something called flashing that the gutter butts up against. Well for those of you who can't predict what happens when said flashing is not there, let me tell you. Water gets in and it ROTS. The majority of the room was held up by 2x4s that were rotted down to 1x4s and to be honest I found it a miracle that the structure was still standing. Fortunately for me, my buddy Ryan happens to be the art teacher and also has the summer off came over to help with this ever growing project.

I won't bore you with all the details or how much we feel like studs (get it, we're working on framing a structure and STUDS are what help hold it up??) for actually doing a pretty darn good job. However I will post some pics as to the continued progress of the new and improved Mudroom.

Flora wasn't as big of a help as I thought she would be. She's a lazy ass.

You'd think they'd be in English.

Finished product, at least on the outside.

Fortunately Ryan and I, with the help of Flora and Roger were able to get the outside finished just in time for me to hop on a plane and shoot over to the Raleigh NC to visit the Toddman. It was actually a nice respite to the project of the mudroom and since we had been able to actually have a locking window and door I knew Miranda would sleep easy without her man their to vanquish any foes who would be stupid enough to break and enter.

The visit to the Toddman involved a whirlwind tour of Duke as well as the surrounding area, with a stop at some really tasty bbq along the way. Little did I know however, that I had been duped into coming out the very weekend that he was moving. I tried feigning back problems, claimed my uromisotisis was reoccurring, even resorted to complaining my ass cheeks hurt from sitting on the pot so long, but nothing took; he still put me to work. Just Joshin ya Toddman it was good times.

Probably one of the highlights though was visiting some of the historical sites just outside of Durham. One such site was an old tobacco plantation. It wasn't until this very point in my life that I realized what I've been called to do. As soon as the mudroom is completely finished I'm selling the the Thomas estate to take up tobacco farming or as true tobacco farmers such as myself call it, tobacca farmin.

Preppin this years tobacca crop.
Miranda and my future house that Tobacca built.
I will have a follow up in the days to come as to how this new chapter in my life is going. Until then I'm pretty sure the next post won't take me 4 months to come up with, thanks for your patience! Enjoy your summer...laters


Anonymous said...

finally a new post! i'm glad to have been re-updated on the world of josh. robyn

Tim said...

Nice work on the house, you just upped your manhood score big time. I am very impressed. My kids saw me saw me change a battery in a smoke detector once. Which is nice...

Josh said...

Tim, your kids should be very proud of you battery changing prowess. I look forward to comparing our manhood scores over a 3 Floyd's...SOON! Laters

KaFreena said...

since no one else has mentioned it:

I find it somewhat strange that Ryan is the only one pictured working.. up on a ladder.. reading directions.. etc. Where were you josh?? and did you ever give him the second 1/2 of his beer ;) haha.

Josh said...

All I can say is that Ryan signed a contract. In said contract I was not liable for meals beer or helping in any way. Nuf said! Laters